It’s funny that places that actually help create the fat for most people eventually squeeze them out. Roomy restaurant booths of yesterday have been replaced with tight fitting sardine can style booths for today. Sure the booths of yesterday were probably the same size, but fat people generally take a gradual run towards total obesity so it feels like the booths are getting smaller and smaller.
The problem for most fat people and booths are those with beer guts. Let’s face it you can have a hind end the size of tailgate and still fit in the booth as long as your belly doesn’t occupy too much space. Booths can be deceiving, some may be fat friendly and some may not, but I would say 80% are not fat friendly. It’s all about the height of the table. Before inviting a fat friend to a restaurant with questionable booth size I would recommend to do recon at the restaurant first. First measure the distance from the top of the seat to the bottom of the table top. Second, measure your tubby friend from the bottom of their bottom to the top of their belly.
If your friend’s measurements are less than that of the restaurants then you’re good to go. If you’re not good to go buy your friend an Ab Roller and duct tape a Twinkie in between their knees. This may help shed some pounds, and if it doesn’t well you’ll have a few minutes of fun watching your pudgy friend work out.
The general rule of thumb when traveling with one to two fat people is to ask for a table or the half booth. This would accommodate their breadbasket without putting a squeeze on their spare tire. If embarking out on the town with more than two fat people or an entire whale pod stick to drive-thru’s, bars with tables, and barbeques.
Lastly at all costs avoid the large half circle booth. Many fat people have been stuck in circle booths over the years only to be pulled out by their friends or restaurant employees. Some unfortunate dim witted obese oafs have been cut out of the dreaded circle booth by the Jaws of Life. Firefighters have rescued many fat people from these unsafe booths while the scared fat people continue to eat their bottomless fries, or all you can eat shrimp. But really can you blame them? Food makes it all better, even being trapped within a circle booth while surrounded by the entire fire department.
This is the worst. I hate the booths. How do you divide up the fat to squeeze into one of these booths?? I’ve always wanted a boob lift but I didn’t think it would come from a booth at Burger King pushing my gut fat up under my boobs so that my chin had a nice set of cushions to relax on.
fast food booths are smaller than full serve restaurants usually. And the big full serve places are bad!!! Not only do they have the dreaded booth, but the dreaded “please wait to be seated” sign. Then, usually some skinny chick will grab menu’s & lead the fatty to a booth instead of the 20 empty tables in the next section.
The best move is to check if the table or booth seat is screwed down. If not the wise big guy will slide the table towards the skinny person or push the booth seat away from the table after checking that no one is in the booth behind. Plenty of feeding space.
ARGH SMALL BOOTHS! I finally decided to lose weight when I could no longer fit into booths that I used to fit into no problem! Its not like I want to lift my lower abomen up and rest it on the table, then I can’t reach my food! Man! I think this was done on purpose to keep fatties from eating out! There are less and less tables and chairs and more and more SMALL TINY LITTLE BOOTHS that are made for anorexic chicks. I feel so bad for men that have big beer bellies, I’ve seen them rest those bellies on the table and its like a workout for them to reach their food and most of it ends up on their shirt anyways! What did they do this on purpose ALSO to give fatties a workout while eating? Its STUPID! I’m at the point where I fit into all the old booths I used to not fit into, but they are coming out with some really small ones now that I’m kinda tight in. My trick, I tie a sweater around my waist and it sucks my stomach in so I can fit into the booth better. Someone should start a petition about this!
Lord have mercy. My coworkers think I have lost it. I cannot stop laughing. All this time.. I thought I was the only fatty that had this problem. I have cancelled so many dates because of this Booth Fear LMAO! Thank you for making my day!
Booths suck. I will walk out of a restaurant if they dont have anything but booths. yes, I can get into most of them, but they are not very comfortable…
love the articles Tony they are hilarious
hahah, holy crap. This site is funny because a lot of its true. I found this site doing a search about the size of seats on roller coasters at a theme park around here. I didn’t realize it was a full site about stuff.
A lot of places, newer places and those that have “renovated” are making tiny booths that are insanely small. I’m 5’10” and one restaurant my family has frequented since I was little now has booths where my knees would practically touch the other booth. The problem is clearly they are to damn small!
I tell you, these waitresses are lucky they are not waiters because I would likely throw a guy throw the front window for even thinking of attempting to give me a booth with with a 1 foot wide clearance. I’m not joking about that 1 foot wide gap between the edge of the table to the back of the booth, how the hell anyone at all sits there is beyond me.
I have a mom that thinks shes a movie star or something when sitting in a booth, I don’t get it but her attitude changes as though shes now above everyone else since she is sitting in a booth. I hate hearing her ask me if I want to go with the rest of the family to a meal because I know whats going to happen. I hate booths because of the lack of space but also because my knee locks up at certain angles if it stays at the angle for a long period of time.
We get to the restaurant and she turns and asks, “table or booth?” she damn well knows what I’m going to say but still *****ing asks me anyways! I tell her “table”, I hear , “okay”. 2 seconds later a waitress comes around and suddenly I am being asked the same…damn….question…alllll over again. Not only asked but several times as though there was any ****ing confusion the first time i said “table”. “well i didn’t know…” is the response. This goes on for a good 30seconds which feels like 30 minutes. Remember that front window I mentioned earlier? Grrr….some people wouldn’t survive being the opposite sex, i tell you. If it was a friend of mine who did this crap I would have thrown him out the front window into oncoming traffic for the stupidity! Its as though shes trying to make me mad and embarrasss me at the same time.
I have stopped just say,” alright” when asked, even when I am hungry(no,contrary to popular belief my fat ass does not eat 24/7, hell i barely eat 2 meals that are the same as most average weight people..sometiems even less!). I stop and ask what place they are thinking of going to and will refuse to go to certain places because I know the BS that happens at them.
Another problem with booths is that sometimes they are designed lopsided, as in one side is really tiny while the other side has plenty of space. My ****ing annoying, skinny friend who eats like a damn cow will ask for a booth…somehow he manages to be in front when we are waiting in line to be seated …same thing with rides..the little girl. As I was saying, we get to the booth and the idiot feels that he is a woman so he must be seated first, even cutting in front of where I am standing to take my seat. Its as though his butt has radar for detecting which seat has more space and sitting in it and then looking at me like hes a retarded, lost, beaten puppy wondering why hes being looked at like hes an idiot.
Seriously, you would think if you are hanging around someoen that is heavier then you that you would realize that if one seat is to small for your skinny, feminine self, then its to small for the other guy. ugh, just thinking of this makes me want to go down to his house and smack him around a bit.
honestly what is with the booth anyways? It provides no status, as my mom would believe; the booth also does not provide any kind of privacy since annoying little kids tend to have an easier time looking over and making loud, annoying sounds while their moronic parents sit there like drones. its just annoying. Even when I have had no trouble sitting at any booth, they still piss me off for some reason.