Posts Tagged ‘Ab Roller’

Restaurant BoothsIt’s funny that places that actually help create the fat for most people eventually squeeze them out. Roomy restaurant booths of yesterday have been replaced with tight fitting sardine can style booths for today. Sure the booths of yesterday were probably the same size, but fat people generally take a gradual run towards total obesity so it feels like the booths are getting smaller and smaller.  

The problem for most fat people and booths are those with beer guts. Let’s face it you can have a hind end the size of tailgate and still fit in the booth as long as your belly doesn’t occupy too much space. Booths can be deceiving, some may be fat friendly and some may not, but I would say 80% are not fat friendly. It’s all about the height of the table. Before inviting a fat friend to a restaurant with questionable booth size I would recommend to do recon at the restaurant first. First measure the distance from the top of the seat to the bottom of the table top. Second, measure your tubby friend from the bottom of their bottom to the top of their belly.

If your friend’s measurements are less than that of the restaurants then you’re good to go. If you’re not good to go buy your friend an Ab Roller and duct tape a Twinkie in between their knees. This may help shed some pounds, and if it doesn’t well you’ll have a few minutes of fun watching your pudgy friend work out.

The general rule of thumb when traveling with one to two fat people is to ask for a table or the half booth. This would accommodate their breadbasket without putting a squeeze on their spare tire. If embarking out on the town with more than two fat people or an entire whale pod stick to drive-thru’s, bars with tables, and barbeques.  

Lastly at all costs avoid the large half circle booth. Many fat people have been stuck in circle booths over the years only to be pulled out by their friends or restaurant employees.  Some unfortunate dim witted obese oafs have been cut out of the dreaded circle booth by the Jaws of Life. Firefighters have rescued many fat people from these unsafe booths while the scared fat people continue to eat their bottomless fries, or all you can eat shrimp. But really can you blame them? Food makes it all better, even being trapped within a circle booth while surrounded by the entire fire department.   

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