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Posts Tagged ‘fat person’

extrawideberth

I’m not sure how to exactly title what I’m getting at here. I do believe I am pioneering this term right where at WFPDL. It came to me one day when I went to check my mail box on the street. I left my front porch making way down my long driveway to the road where my mailbox resides. I get close and take a final deep breath as I was winded from walking the path for a good twenty seconds or so. I go to open the mailbox, take out my mail when I noticed a car is coming down the road. My body is not in the road at all… I am still in my driveway… when all of a sudden the car goes all the way into the opposite lane to pass me. There was no reason for that! That car could have easily continued down the road in the lane without coming close to hitting my rotund shell.

I chalked it up to a one time event… until the next several times I checked the mail. Then I started to notice it when at the grocery store, and the mall, and restrooms. It’s as if by being too close they will catch what I have and pack on the poundage. Perhaps it’s like when you drive and your mirrors say “Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.”

Am I wrong in this? Do I actually require this unnecessarily extra wide berth? Am I taking up more space than I actually realize? Next time you’re around a whale pod watch and see… you’ll ensure they have plenty of space… in case they drop dead on you maybe?

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Don\'t Pat Fat Backs

I have been trying for weeks to come up with a perfect topic to write about, and every night I do my best to come up with one with no success.  As I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep it finally came to me, fat people, especially fat men do not like it when someone comes up to them, pats them on the back and says “How’s it going big guy?”  Actually this doesn’t really apply to women.  I don’t think anyone has ever said to a fat woman “How’s it going large lady?”  Or “hey there big gal!” or “How you doing broad-backed babe?” (If I’m wrong ladies please let me know.) I have heard lots of times people calling my husband, brother, and father “Big Guy.”

I’m not sure when it was decided “Big Guy” was an appropriate way to greet someone, but I’m pretty positive fat guys don’t like it.  No one likes to have pointed out they are big even if it is true.  This greeting is usually done by a guy who is not big which makes it worse.  Like I have stated before, it is okay for fat people to make fun of themselves and other fat people like them, but is not okay for skinny people to do it.  The problem comes in the fact that the person doing the greeting doesn’t think he is being offensive to the fat guy.  I think the skinny guy thinks he is being nice and doing the fat guy a favor by saying hello to him and giving the fat guy a nickname.

The other part of this greeting a fat guy doesn’t like is being patted.  For some reason my husband is always getting patted on the back, arm or shoulder.  I understand these parts of my husband’s body are large, but that does not mean they are meant to be a bull’s eye for everyone to pat.  Fat people including women on this one generally don’t like to be patted.  It causes the fat to jiggle and can be felt by the fat person as well as the non-fat person doing the patting.  Often seeing the sight of a person coming toward a fat person with his or her hand in the position of a tennis racket ready to strike a ball, causes the fat person to become tense waiting for the smack this then makes the whole greeting uncomfortable making the fat person seem anti-social, which then causes the patting, big guy-calling greeter to quickly say “Well, I’ll catch you later.”  The greeter tends to think, “Ah that was so nice of me to say hello to that poor awkward, fat person,” and the fat guy tends to feel as though he has just been molested and insulted.  If you are a skinny guy reading this and have been guilty of greeting fat people in this way, just keep in mind, jiggling a person and pointing out to a person they are big is not an appropriate way to say hello.  Try a hand shake and using the person’s name next time.

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