Archive for the ‘Not Fat Friendly Clothing’ Category

So as I was looking over this new site my husband and I created, I clicked on one of the links that took me to a site dedicated to shirts for fat guys.  I thought this was hilarious.  There were so many funny sayings that most of us who are fat can find humor in.  Of course there are some fat folks who would take offense to some of these shirts, but I find that most of us who are fat have had to develop a pretty strong sense of humor to deal with the instances in our life when we were called tons of fun, or told “you look like a helium balloon in that dress!”  Anyway, I came across the saying “It ain’t over till I sing.” I was thrilled. Of course this is based on the saying “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.” Being a singer, and a plus size woman who embraces her largeness I was happy to see a saying I would like to wear across my ample bosoms. 

I find a cute black and white hoodie that was just what I was looking for.  To my dismay when I clicked on sizes I find the usual S, Med, Large, X-Large.  WHAT????? I think to myself.  They don’t have plus sizes??  I thought this was a site for fat guys??  Now it is one thing for fat people to make fun of themselves, but it is another for skinny minis to be doing it.  What size-small chick has the right to be walking around in a hoodie with the saying “It ain’t over till I sing on it?”  If she is a size small she obviously is not fat, so the saying makes no sense.  She has not earned the right to be poking fun at girls who are fat.  It is kind of like I can be mean to my own family, but the claws come out if someone else tries to do the same. 

This brings me to the next thing I hate being a fat woman…my skinny friends complaining about their size.  When they are sitting there telling me how fat they are and I’m sitting there twice their size where does that leave me, which is what I’m explaining to them when their standard reply is “You’re not fat!”  This comment often causes me to erupt in huge belly laughs.  Obviously I am fat.  I do not debate this.  My friends are just confusing fat with ugly.  What they are trying to say is “You’re not ugly” which I agree, I am not.  I am a fine lookin’ plus size woman and many chubby chasers out there would agree with that. 

Being a fine lookin’ plus size woman I want to wear cute clothes, and why not have a sense of humor with it?  Shouldn’t I be able to poke fun at my size by wearing something that has a perfect saying on it?  Especially don’t you think I should be able to purchase this at a website all for fat guys in mind?  I was so outraged by the fact I couldn’t buy this hoodie in my size, I urged my husband to take down the link, but seeing as our site is all about things fat people don’t like, we will leave the link up to prove our point.  Fat people don’t like shirts for fat people not coming in the appropriate fat people sizes!

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There’s nothing cooler than finding a piece of clothing that is exactly the style you were looking for. Euphoria and delight go through your veins while sifting through the clothing racks to find the one that was meant for you. Often fat people realize that retailers may not have their exact size and most fat people understand that. What truly sucks for fat people is finding that all the items are “one size fits most”.  

“One size fits most” is the sequel to “one size fits all.” Clothing manufactures needed to find a loophole when class action lawsuits occurred by groups of swollen paunchy fatties who came together on a united front to say “One size does not fit me!” So OSFM was created.  When looking through clothing, and coming across “one size fits most” you must make a decision. Are you “most” or are you not? Chances are, if you have to think “will this fit me?”…’one size fits most’ is not for you. One size fits most is a load of crap. It might as well say “if you are looking at this tag put it down and move directly to the camping department to pick up a fashionable blue tarp.” Tarps will work in place of any piece of clothing with a little ingenuity.  

It really stinks when a fat person gets a gift that is “one size fits most.”  The giver is saying “I got this for you! Put it on, it’s one size fits most!” So the fat person tries it on only to realize that it will not work out, but now feels obligated to wear the garment that is pushing the fabric to the limit.

Unless a fat person is in denial…they should know if they are not in the “most” category. If a fat person attempts to cram their jelly donut thighs into something that is too tight, without hesitation, non-fat associates should help their friend out by saying “that makes you look fat.”  This might cause them a second of embarrassment, but it will also make them second guess their decision to wear the article of clothing. We all know that fat people are going to be fat no matter what they wear, but the clothing should not be showing off every single roll they have. 

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