When looking over the long list of things my husband and I came up with of all the things fat people don’t like, the word “Elevators” caught my eye. You would think elevators would be something most fat people would love considering the alternative being stairs. Stairs are definitely another item fat people don’t like, seeing as climbing them can leave many fat folk breathless, and sure they are dying of a heart attack. Don’t get me wrong fat people would for sure rather take an elevator than climb stairs any day, but elevators are on the long list of things fat people do not like.
Reason one being elevators are small, cramped, and crowded. Little spaces are not things fat people enjoy. Obviously fat people feel cramped and crowed in many different places including their own skin, but elevators top the list.
Reason two being many fat people are looked at with fear as they approach an elevator by other passengers. This fear comes from the fact that many people believe that “the fat” have an unpleasant odor. This could create a problem when being confined to a small space. Of course the fear could also come from the fact that the fat person could cause the elevator to become “over the limit,” and the elevator could come crashing to the ground.
A good elevator can usually (according to the sign) hold about 2500 pounds. Let’s just say a whale family of four are in an elevator. It has been known to happen that the elevator stops just for a person to look in, see the family of whales and say “I’ll wait for the next one.” Even if this whale family each weigh 300 pounds, that is only 1200 pounds. That leaves a good 1300 pounds extra. This leaves the family feeling sad and embarrassed though, they will usually laugh and joke, because that is what they have learned to do to deal with the pain.
Example: My mother and I were at the hospital visiting my uncle. We waited for the elevator and many people attempted to cram in. As we all stood there waiting for the doors to close we heard “Beep, Beep, Beep.” A man was too close to the door so it would not close but one not so fat friendly nurse looked at my mother and me and said “I think we are over!” We both started to laugh, because even with our combined 600 pounds, there was no way mathematically we were over the limit for this large elevator that holds gurneys and heavy machinery. Laughing we got off and said “we will take the next one.” To us this was hilarious, and every time we are in an elevator I will say “Beep, beep, beep.” This type of remark could easily scare some fat folk that have not yet learned to laugh at themselves, either because they are newly fat, or are in denial.
There is one type of elevator fat people like, which is the freight elevator. It is roomier, people are not there to stare at them, and it is definitely the way to deal with mass tonnage.
Just remember, do the math to figure out how many whale pod members would actually need to be aboard to cause an elevator to come plummeting to earth, or beyond.
You are funny. Whale pods, I love it. When I encounter an elevator I fear that it will take a slight dip or bounce when I step on to it so that other people obviously notice it. Kind of like getting into the car, I like to time it so that I’m getting in at the same time as other people-hoping it won’t be so noticeable that the car just dipped or bounced. Worse case scenario is a cheap car that leans when you get in. Notice I’m blaming the car here.
hahahaha thats funny
well im not saying im hige but im pretty big.
i prefer the stairs cause it helps you loose weight and im scared to ride in elevators im afraid they’ll fall or just suddenly stop
hah what lisa said was funny.
we have a cheap car cause my 13 yr old sister who weighs like 70 or 80 pounds can make it bounce and shes so tiny.
Fat Hate Bingo!
why the hell are you taking the time to complain about all of these things when you could just be doing some excercise and loosing weight. if all of you FAT DISGUSTING people did a bit more excercise an a little less eating you wouldn’t hae anything to complain about!!!! IDIOTS!!!!!
OMG! I never thought about excercise! THANK YOU for clearing it up for me! A venue to vent and laugh is good… but why all the hate pretty girl? Do you need a hug?
I hate that “Fat guy elevator bounce” too…. It’s like the elevator is saying “Ooof.. looks like I’ll be working hard for this load….”
I always try to make sure I’m the first one in and the last one out.
Or…. introduce the elevator to your weight gradually by not just leaping into it, but stepping on the gap between floor and elevator in a steady heel-to-toe manner. The Elevator will still dip, but it won’t be as noticeable as the GUMP! sound it makes as the cables take up the extra slack on the motors fifteen stories above.
Umm. Why are you wasting so much time writing about how pathetic your sad lives are instead of DOING something about it? I mean… Honestly, I feel sad. Do something positive. This website has made me sick. I never realized how much harder it is for fat people to get along with every day life. It’s depressing. How can you be happy this way?? It’s disgusting and pathetic. Stop wasting time on the computer. Go and change your lives! Make them normal! I don’t know what else to say. I feel sick.
Hey Pretty Girl. You were not complaining about fat when I had a threesome with you and your mom last night. You loved all 500 lbs of me.
If i have a choice, i take the stairs.
Unless i’m with a group of people, i’ll take the stairs. Even sometimes when i’m with a group i’ll just tell them i’ll meet them up there, and i almost always beat them.
OK, sorry, I thought this was a “fat haters’ site. Didn’t realize this site is devoted to poking fun at the author(s). But still, I have been fat, I have been skinny, I have been morbidly obese, obese, overweight and underweight. American fast food is to blame! I’m OK now, still a bit overweight but at least no one is staring at me thinking “Oh my God I hope she doesn’t get in the elevator with us.” or “Oh my God doesn’t she know she needs to lose weight and NOT order the damn BIG MAC meal extra large size!” But I still feel like I’m being stared down and I still think I have a 50″ waist and I still feel like I weight 345lbs, even though everyone has told me I’ve lost so much weight. Because of society today, I’ll NEVER be comfortable in my own skin, so why not learn to laught at myself! Thanks for this site. I’m going to try to remove my gripe about the turnstyles.
Laughing at myself!
Josie
Prettygirl is really just a newly fat person who is depressed that she can’t loose weight. I m skinny, and i think fat is CUTE! Im 130lbs and 5’9 and my EX bf was 280 6ft tall and my current fiance actually USED to be WAY obese! He lost it ALL and not only is he fit now but he has big muscles! Im so proud of him for loosing over 100 lbs!!! But he still thinks he is fat even though he looks like a body builder now! People put too much pressure on being hott, tan, fit, and everything that goes with it.
i find elavotors really embarassing.
they destroy my human rights.
why should i have to be punished in the way of humilation?
come on everyone- let me know what you all think!
are you subjected to this abuse??
What good does this do? Why not change your life and get healthier instead of trying to convince yourself that your size is okay? Screw the shallow stuff, I’m talking about your health. And can you blame the people on the elevator? Really?