When looking over the long list of things my husband and I came up with of all the things fat people don’t like, the word “Elevators” caught my eye. You would think elevators would be something most fat people would love considering the alternative being stairs. Stairs are definitely another item fat people don’t like, seeing as climbing them can leave many fat folk breathless, and sure they are dying of a heart attack. Don’t get me wrong fat people would for sure rather take an elevator than climb stairs any day, but elevators are on the long list of things fat people do not like.
Reason one being elevators are small, cramped, and crowded. Little spaces are not things fat people enjoy. Obviously fat people feel cramped and crowed in many different places including their own skin, but elevators top the list.
Reason two being many fat people are looked at with fear as they approach an elevator by other passengers. This fear comes from the fact that many people believe that “the fat” have an unpleasant odor. This could create a problem when being confined to a small space. Of course the fear could also come from the fact that the fat person could cause the elevator to become “over the limit,” and the elevator could come crashing to the ground.
A good elevator can usually (according to the sign) hold about 2500 pounds. Let’s just say a whale family of four are in an elevator. It has been known to happen that the elevator stops just for a person to look in, see the family of whales and say “I’ll wait for the next one.” Even if this whale family each weigh 300 pounds, that is only 1200 pounds. That leaves a good 1300 pounds extra. This leaves the family feeling sad and embarrassed though, they will usually laugh and joke, because that is what they have learned to do to deal with the pain.
Example: My mother and I were at the hospital visiting my uncle. We waited for the elevator and many people attempted to cram in. As we all stood there waiting for the doors to close we heard “Beep, Beep, Beep.” A man was too close to the door so it would not close but one not so fat friendly nurse looked at my mother and me and said “I think we are over!” We both started to laugh, because even with our combined 600 pounds, there was no way mathematically we were over the limit for this large elevator that holds gurneys and heavy machinery. Laughing we got off and said “we will take the next one.” To us this was hilarious, and every time we are in an elevator I will say “Beep, beep, beep.” This type of remark could easily scare some fat folk that have not yet learned to laugh at themselves, either because they are newly fat, or are in denial.
There is one type of elevator fat people like, which is the freight elevator. It is roomier, people are not there to stare at them, and it is definitely the way to deal with mass tonnage.
Just remember, do the math to figure out how many whale pod members would actually need to be aboard to cause an elevator to come plummeting to earth, or beyond.