I know what you are thinking… How could a fat person not like Pot lucks. Well there are actually two sides to this and it is one of those issues that divides fat people. There are basically two groups of fat people… Those that do not care they are fat and in fact revel in their rotundness and then there are those that are self coconscious and constantly worried about their fatness and what people must think of them. The latter group looks upon the first group with disgust and often times feel superior to the group that doesn’t care even though often times they are in worse shape. But that is for another time.
With that being said the self-conscious group hates being involved in pot lucks. For one reason fat people are by nature lazy and preparing food that is for someone else to consume is a hassle they would rather not deal with. Why make food for others when you can stay home and eat it all yourself? Another reason is the self restraint involved, especially when you know there is a line behind you watching everything you put on your plate knowing that they are watching to see what ingredients a person eats to make them fat. A fat person hears the voices in their head as they pick a measly piece of meat from here, a small scoop of this, and they hear this from people behind them… “Come on fatty leave some for the rest of us!” Many a time I have seen the look in someone’s eyes as they realize I will be in front of them in line. A look of fear and hate that there will be no food left for them after the Buffetosaurus Rex is done with the food line. Then compound this with the fact that many fat people actually do eat all the food and there is even more reason to hate potluck.
Many times I have looked like a jerk to coworkers who have been unable to get away from their desk and so asked me to fill a plate for them. I have to come up with some excuse as to why I can not help them. I know from experience the looks a large person gets when walking away from a potluck with two plates. Trust me… at times (who am I kidding.. all the time) I want nothing more than to consume large quantities of a variety of food. But I save that for the privacy of my own home… in the corner with only my own shame to make me feel bad…. That or Old Country Buffet where everyone else is either fat or too old to know what is going on around them.
OMG… So yesterday we had an “ice cream social” at work and these two guys that are FAR BIGGER THAN ME come in and help themselves to ice cream. One of them ate a bowl in the kitchen and took another bowl back to his desk! I walked in… saw these two tubs o’ lard and thought… if someone sees all three of us in here they will freak out! I could hear them scream and call for the troops saying “ALL THE FAT PEOPLE ARE EATING THE ICE CREAM!” So I had to leave. I did however come back later for a single scoop of ice cream that I devoured in less than a minute.
Wow, you sure know everything about fat people! Who knew that there were two types, and all fatties fit into those categories. Especially weird, as most fat people I know like to cook, even for others.
Julie …just to clarify this does not apply when fatty friends get together for a feed session. This only applies to potlucks where there are people who are not fat people. Of course your friends like to cook (for themselves and other fat friends.) That is why they are fat. I am sure they like to use extra butter just as I do. Of course not all fat people fit into two categories (we don’t fit into a lot of things) but it was an example in this particular instance.
I am also relieved to know that there are only two groups of fat people that I can fit into. Thank you for enlightening me.