Summer vacations, state fairs, and tourist regions are known for their fast food and their fast rides. This is a great time for those not weight challenged. Just the thought of going on such an adventure can cause kids to scream with excitement, while their fat friends and relatives scream in horror of the thought of being turned away from the ride. One time I remember getting in a ride car with one of those metal lap bars that comes down for the restraint and having the attendant ask to raise my arms, cross my legs and suck in my gut while he pushed and even sat on the bar until it locked into position. That was not fun, but at least I was able to go on the ride.
Everyone knows someone who was told they were too fat to go on a ride and most fat people can laugh about it as long as it’s not them. Having a pimply faced teenager send a fat person away would bring much sadness to a fat person. They would most likely eat an enormous amount of fried food to help with the pain because as we all know…food makes it all better.
There are two signs for fat folk to look for when hitting the amusement parks. They are weight limits, and waist limits. Sometimes it’s not the weight of the person but the size of the gut. Can the safety bar lock in place or does ones lard belly bumper prevent it from locking? When looking for the appropriate signage be sure that you can read through the lines. Amusement parks will try and make it politically correct by saying “guests of exceptional size.” This may confuse the uneducated fat person.
Here’s a sample from an amusement parks website:
“Guests of exceptional size may not be accommodated on some of our rides. This may apply, but not be limited to, men who exceed 6′2″, or those who exceed 225 pounds, have a 40″ waistline or 52″ chest or females who exceed 200 pounds or wear size 18 or larger. Each person has different body proportions so it is not possible to list exact size and weight.”
Really someone needs to make the ultimate Fat friendly amusement park, and just design the rides for the likes of baby elephants as this would ensure plenty of room for the fatty’s. I’m thinking more like reinforced inflatable rides for large adults. We can also replace the child’s ball pit with perhaps a large pool of barbequed ribs. Really who wants to go on thrill rides when you can eat yourself out of a pool of ribs?
Mmmm Ribs
One time a long time ago when I wore a size 12/14 I went to a local fair and got on the Zipper and I couldn’t believe it when the guy had to slam that bar on me three times before getting it shut. It really hurt too. I haven’ been on another ride since and this was 1991. It was so humiliating. I wanted to die.
This was really offensive. I mean, ribs? I hate ribs and I’m bigger than average. Why is it that everyone thinks they can make fun of fat people? They think they’re more powerful? (Again, ibs? EW!)
I do not feel that anything within our articles infers that we are more powerful. If anything we are exposing the vulnerability of those who are fat and as a matter of fact we are fat. I love Ribs… I would love to bathe in a pool of ribs. I’d like to eat a whole mess of them. They are sweet, savory and tender. I’m not sure what you are finding offensive. I’m only speaking from experience. Embrace your fatness and you will be much happier in life.
If you don’t like ribs insert a favorite food of your choice in place of ribs…like chocolate ice cream, peanut butter spoons, hostess cup cakes, cheese, bacon, ribs… oh wait… but really… who doesn’t like ribs with barbeque sauce and… well crap you made me hungry.
Gotta go… eat
This was really offensive. I mean, ribs? I hate ribs and I’m bigger than average. Why is it that everyone thinks they can make fun of fat people? They think they’re more powerful? (Again, ribs? EW!)
Chill Brandon, its meant to be satirical not offensive. People of all sizes love and hate ribs…..yummmm, ribs, now im hungry too.
I was at an amusement park and went on a thrill ride where a sign was posted reading “Due to the nature of the restraints large body indivuals may not be able to ride.” I was very relieved that the restraints closed yay!! Feeling pretty good about the park I went on a very popular ride with an hour wait. Although no sign was posted this time, the restraints wouldn’t close … very embrassing. Stupid park that has no real standard for which body types will fit on each ride.
I really enjoyed reading your site, it was quite funny not offensive at all if you keep in mind that its meant to be entertaining!
mmmmmmm ribs….. in line 4 the top thrill dragster last week im embarassed 2 say tht this happened 2 me…..
When Six Flags opened JazzLand Amusement park in New Orleans eight years ago, I was one of the first to plunk down $75 bucks for a season pass. On SEVERAL of the rides, I was turned away. Now I’m 6″1′ and I weigh 250. I consider myself healthy and I exercise regularly. (No diabetes, high blood pressure and my cholesterol is decent). You would think that in New Orleans, one of the fattest cities in America, they would have the foresight to accommodate larger people. No big surprise that the attendance started to drop after they ran that first season and eventually had to sell the park. According to the Times-Picayune: “Number one reason locals stopped going to the park: you guessed it – there were, on average two to three rides people were getting turned away from. Serves you right dumba**es.
Yeah, this has happened to me before too.
I was at Six Flags about three years ago with my family, and my mom and sisters and I went on Superman. And I didn’t fit at all hahah
My sister was next to me, and she was grabbing the seat belt trying to get me in, and my mom was like “just suck it in!!” hahah it was so bad!!
Then I kinda just freaked out and got off, hoping that any observers would think “she chickened out” not, “she is too fat”. Which I was, but they didn’t need to know that.
So yeah, I haven’t even tried to go on any rides since then. But I wouldn’t mind a pool of ….not ribs? Maybe icecream ^___^
Listening to all ya’ll’s stories makes me feel a little better. I am 5′2″ and 225 lbs. I went to our county fair tonight. First we rode something that just through our carts around in circles. I fit in it but it was snug in my gut. Then we rode what used to be called the super loop and when the operator pushed the restraint down it hurt, but I fit and rode it. However, my husband got very sick after it, and he said he would have to be done riding for the night. However, he said it was okay if continued to ride. So then, I went and got on this spider-looking ride. I got in the seat and it was a little tight on either side of my legs but I was ok. Then the operator came and at least I thought he latched the bar down, but then he came back and said, “No – it’s not gonna latch.” I was sooooo embarrassed. I jumped up and ran out the exit without looking up. My husband said, what is it? You didn’t fit? I said “No! And that was so humiliating!” I wanted to cry. Then he asked me if I wanted to go get a funnel cake! That was a part of the fair I was really looking foward to, but not right after that! I just said, “No, let’s just go!” But when I got home I ate a bowl of cereal, a breadstick left over from the olive garden, and a piece of pizza!
I went to Disney World this past summer. It was July which happens to be international tourist month, which consists of 500,000,000,000,000,000 (or so it seems) teenage Brazilians. I noticed the first day at Magic Kingdom, that some people were taking photos discreetly of me. I didn’t let it bother me. The next day we went to MGM studios (which is now something else less interestingly named) and I noticed a few people snapping photos incognito. I began to think “wtf is up?!” I looked around to see if there was something weird around me. Nothing. Third day we went to Epcot, when this chick with one of the Brazilian tour groups sat like a foot from me, then the chick in front of me like nodded her head to move closer then the girl moved closer to me. I then saw the camera come up over her shoulder and snap. The chick leaned even closer and the camera snapped again. I then realized that I had become an attraction at Disney. It amazed me that people would do that. I would have rather they openly snapped photos. The incognito was so RUDE. I then vowed that if anyone else did it, I was going to ask them for 10 dollars because I wasn’t included in the price of admission. It really pissed me off because there were WAY WAY WAY fatter people running around on the stupid little lazy scooters. Which I pride myself in not ever getting that lazy, but I didn’t see them being made a side show.
Americans are rude but these damn Brazilian teens were even more rude. My girlfriend tried to tell me that maybe they thought I was really wealthy because people in some countries believe that if you’re fat you have money. I didn’t buy it, them brats knew I was fat and amazed by it.
Screw Disney give me good ole Six Flags in the heart of the Midwest, where the only side show is a skinny, white trash woman in a halter top and daisy dukes with meth teeth.
Oh and I couldn’t ride the space ship earth because the counsel couldn’t close, so it was like the icing on the cake for a crappy day.
I have not yet been kicked off a ride but it is one of my biggest fears, I’m very Fat I am 5′5 and am 350. If I got kicked off a ride at Disney world I would cry so much. I know that I’m fat I know that everyone eles knows I’m fat I don’t need complete strangers to have a special occation to see me embarrassed.
hahahaha you fat people are funny!!
FAT POWER!!!!!!! I LOVE being fat. idk bout u… but cheesesteaks are real nice
(To Michelle) I feel bad for what you have to endure that past summer at the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and Disney-MGM Studios (now Disney’s Hollywood Studios)! It’s really tough on you to cope with people (especially the overzealous Brazilian tour groups) taking pictures of you as if you’re a new Disney Character!
Anyways, I’m not much of a fat person (like, 140ish pounds on an almost-5-foot-frame), because I eat sensibly and exercise. I’m able to fit into all the rides (with the exception of Rock and Roller Coaster at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, which has inversions). I recently got a Seasonal Pass not only as a Christmas gift, but as an incentive to exercise more. If I see you at the three aforementioned parks and Disney’s Animal Kingdom and some people take pictures of you as if you’re a new Disney Character about resort, I’ll report the problem to a Cast Member accordingly.
Again, I sympathize with what you have endured at Walt Disney World.
Ok.. Back when I was in 10th grade.. and like a size 16, my best friend and I went to the state fair. She was tiny. Well, after we both got into a cart to ride one of the silly rides, the guy came over and told us to trade seats. She said WHY? He got smart and yelled… cause SHE IS TOO FAT AND WILL SMASH YOU TO DEATH if you sit there. Man.. I think that was the last time I went to the fair lol. I’m about a size 26 today. No plans on going anytime soon! lol
I’m about 5′ 9″ and 140… Suck on that.
Okay, now I feel like a Jerkface Guy. I’m actually 210, and felt like being an asshole.
Tony is not fat he is obese hahahaha
“embrace your fatness”- quote of the year!
PEACE x
haha! This site is great. I am sitting here laughing my butt off. (Oh how I wish that were remotely possible!) The whole ribs issue is just hilarious. And embrace your fatness, haha!! Too funny. I’m actually going to be going to Magic Mountain in CA in a few weeks and I’m deathly afraid of not fitting. I went to Knott’s Berry Farm a few years back and had to get off a ride cause I wouldn’t fit. I was mortified. It was the first big family vacation with my husband’s family. ALL OF THEM!! So they all saw it. I ended up running (or whatever you call it when we fat people try to run) to the bathroom and balling my eyes out. Then when I was ok, I came out and my husband’s skinny sister tells me, “It’s ok, it’s just because you’re tall!.” Which is when I proceeded to say the F word in front of his entire family including his young nieces and nephews. I felt like a turd, but I as just so tired of people telling me I was tall and not fat when in reality, I was FAT! Anyway, I ended up putting on even more weight and avoided theme parks. Then I had the Gastric Bypass in January and have lost about 65 pounds so far and really want to go to Six Flags! But I’m scared. I am 6′2″ which already makes it a little hard to fit, but I’m still about 290, so I’m really nervous. I don’t want to cry and cuss at people! haha….this time I’m leaving the family at home!
ok, so what rides can I ride on? That is so depressing to ask. Someone should print a manual or guide book for fat friendly rides. I always look at people getting out of rides and ask my husband if I am fatter than them. Then I can guess if another fat person fit on the ride, I should fit too. When we go to six flags with friends, I always pretend to be afraid of roller coasters. Then I don’t even have to try.